Thursday, June 20, 2013

Sid Vicious Pencil Set

I was trying to write something about the Met's punk show. About how it's called "Chaos to Couture," but it's all couture and no chaos.

I was trying to say something compelling about the fucked-upness of having a replica of CBGB's bathroom in a museum, where people who never would have set foot inside now stand behind Plexiglas to gawk at urinals.



I wanted to convey the icky feeling of exiting the show through the gift shop to find bracelets made of gold razor blades selling for $215, and designer-made satin clutch handbags covered in gold safety pins going for $1495.

I was going to say what it was like to hear the saleswoman crowing about how "These are the last CBGB t-shirts in existence. We got the last ones from their warehouse. This is it." And how I seriously considered buying one, but couldn't bring myself to do it.



But in the end there's just too much to say, and it's all too obvious. Fish in a barrel, really. So I'll just let this $9.95 Sid Vicious pencil set say the rest. (I did buy them; they were too ghastly not to.)







20 comments:

Anonymous said...

The bathroom behind Plexiglas....I think that single image sums up everything you've ever written about.

esquared™ said...

'To look at punk viewed only through the attire, rather than the beliefs, is to make a cultural error.'

http://www.economist.com/blogs/prospero/2013/05/punk-fashion-and-met-ball

Marty Wombacher said...

"Ever get the feeling you've been cheated? Good night." - Johnny Rotten

http://ow.ly/mdyd7

Arabella said...

I went with my mom when it first opened....I was very weary. And yes, the sight of the CBGB bathroom was truly bizarre. We decided there wasn't enough urine. It does say something very strange about this culture. My mom came to the city in the eighties, I was a teenager during the last more user friendly dregs of CBGBs...We still both loved it. You could go see five bands, three would be terrible...One would be pretty good. And sometimes one would be fantastic. I'm still mourning it. The show was very strange, particularly the 30 second intervals of punk music. But the gift shop was very depressing. So depressing. I came home and held my old CBGB's hoodie, slowly decaying...But still there.

Jon Hammer said...

Marty wins the internets again!

I went through that trainwreck the other day, because I happened to be there, not making a special trip. Amazing how there was practically nothing that held my interest for more than 5 seconds. Not only was the facsimile men's room the stupidest idea ever, but just treating it as a piece of sculpture, it was an utter failure. They managed to convey none of the anxiety of entering what I used to call The Toilet of Dr. Caligari. To be fair, I didn't have to pee while I was in the show, but still, powerful image it was not.

Uncle Waltie said...

There was NEVER a bathroom behind plexiglass...at CBs? Are you fucking kidding me? You sat on the throne and...well... I live(d) (still do) 2 blocks away. I used to bring girls home into my pristine bathroom (I always took great care of that)just so they didn't have to go publicly. Got laid every now and then...but that was a long tie ago.It just pisses me off when clowns with no credibility pretend to have been here...then get it all wrong.

Anonymous said...

I think the replica bathroom--in fact, the entire gift shop--should be included on board that replica Titanic that's being constructed. Perhaps an entire replica block of the LES should be built on board so tuxedo-and-gown-clad folk can stroll along the pseudo-grimy pavement before the ship sinks to the bottom of the ocean (where it belongs).

randall said...

You can go into any T-shirt place on St. Marks and get yourself a nice CBGB T-shirt and tell everyone you got it at the Met during the punk rock exhibit if you really wanted to and that it was from the very last batch in existance. Personally I preferred the American Art exhibit from a few years ago, but you can give me an original Asher Durand over a simulacrum bathroom any day. Not to mention that there are bathrooms like that all over the city in real bars. Why not go to one of them if you really wanted the experience...I bet the one in the met doesn't even smell like piss and beer.

The whole concept of this exhibit is hilarious and reminds me of an conversation I overheard on the 125th st. metro-north platform where some wall street looking dude was telling his trophy girlfriend that there is a "certain discipline" to "street art" and that it is a good investment, then proceed to name drop Banksy just to show he knew what he was talking about.

mx_niko said...

If you don't buy those pencils, then immediately use them to do some damage to the punk exhibit, everyone is missing the point.

Dave - everywhere said...

Since the punks were definitely "anti-couture", its aggravating to me to see this pretentious baloney passing itself off as art. I was only in CBGB once, in the early '80's, and I can still remember the smell - stale beer, rank sweat, dope smoke and sewage - to this day. Unless the Met is gently lacing the air of their bathroom exhibit with this, folks it just aint accurate.

Gojira said...

Another important thing missing, which no one else seems to have mentioned, is the layers and layers of band stickers that were plunked all over the walls for decades. (At least, they were in the ladies room so I assume they were in the men's room as well.) Those grimy, colorful bits of ephemera added a layer of visual interest that this asinine simulacrum could never hope to attain.

Space Pope said...

Now that would be damn hilarious. The Met selling little bottles of parfum called Eu de Urinal. A few spritzes here and there will have your mommy shout "Noise annoys!"

But really, this does not surprise me in the least. Every time an originator dies (Hilly RIP), the vultures circle to pick the shreds of profitability from their works.

And to think I used to have something resembling respect for The Met.

Brendan said...

This is why the next real counterculture is going to have to be stealth. No recognizable clothes, hair styles, designs, nothing that can be commodified and packaged for mass consumption.

Claribel said...

It's an ideal thought, Brendan, because, to me, what you're suggesting is a counterculture of ideas. Unfortunately the world is too distracted by technology and overworked to be able ponder anything that requires more than a few minutes of their time.

Going off on a tangent, I've thought how amazing it would be if the world's unemployed could stand out in the streets at the same date and time. What a statement that would be to our govts and corporations. I suppose that's not counterculture, since the idea isn't going against mainstream culture, but it certainly is going against the status quo of accepting the inertia of bureaucrats who can't work together and corporate executives who think hiring freezes and slashing jobs benefits the economy and their operations.

To me, counterculture is going to be about self-sufficiency and not buying sh*t you don't need. It's counterculture to create anything with your own hands. It's counterculture to think of ourselves as creators in society and not consumers. Hipsters as I define them are simply another branch of mainstream’s obsession with consumption and image. I agree, Brendan, let ideas and art be stealth, let them have the opportunity to develop before getting hyped up or diluted by mainstream mediocrity, and let them come from all ages.

Uncle Waltie said...

Space Pope better copyright that idea quickly. I'm trying to raise funds as we speak.

laura r. said...

ok here i go again: nothing new. mass productiin mass comsumption been happening for years. tie dye @ prada, tie dye @ walmarts, your baby boomer sacred beatles muzak in elevators. the underground outsider becomes more interesting later. the musuem was giving a birds eye view of a (young) lifestyle that people had not seen before. CBGBs was a place i havnt seen, & dont need to see it in a musuem either. oh yes, & btw, some counter culture people find a way to market their product. its called america. dont forget most punk hippie artists were were young kids. older folks who were dissidents try to write a book, get paid for speaking engagements.

laura r. said...

brendon, its kind of teenage to do branding for your ideas? people who rule the world (of all ages) go about their business in a subtle way. so much of these comments are college campus-y. who would pay to see that exibit? musuems are just big commericial enterprises. why even be insulted? its nothing for nothing. just business. buy a pencil set.

The All-Seeing Eye, Jr. said...

Gojira, I was in CBs in '06 after the bar etc. had already been shipped to Vegas (remember that plan?) and there were many stickers and much graffiti (including one last remaining X-sessive from the early '80s) on the walls. Then I (groaningly) visited the Varvatos shop shortly after it opened and noticed they had decided the existing array wasn't sufficient, and enhanced it with some additional graffiti etc. of their own.

I suppose they could have maintained it as a kind of Sammy's Bowery Follies of the present, with the gentry gathering to watch toothless punks engaged in a simulacrum of their former activities.

Space Pope said...

Uncle Waltie, if that becomes a reality, let me in on it.

Lisa said...

If you didn't have to roll up your pants when you were visiting the "bathroom" exhibit, the experience was not authentic. I used to try to use a bathroom before I went to CBs and wait until we were at the next bar after so as to avoid it. Yikes.